Often when I have a problem I need to process, I talk about it and people offer me advice. The problem is that advice is rarely new information, and what I really need is to learn about myself through being asked questions that the problem makes me blind to.
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It's like I'm an archaeologist trying to dig up a fossil and instead of suggesting a new spot to dig, they just throw other fossils at me
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What you really need to do is learn about yourself through being asked questions that you are blind to because of the problem.
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Go to a therapist/counsellor. This is literally one of the things we are trained to help with.
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Its good, when 1 is presented with a friend's personal problem, to start with empathy. "It makes sense that your are struggling with this": breaks the ice for both parties to dive into the prob. From there an analysis can begin without the posturing. Hope that helps...
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In my experience offering advice is rarely helpful to anyone. A good friend knows how to ask challenging questions without pushing too hard, and without letting you off your own hook.
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Thank you for making this point. It is very good advice, instead of offering solutions, it can be better to listen and try to understand what someone is going through, and just be there for them.
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Try extreme insomnia and ruminating, it's like playing devil's advocate with yourself.
