Once I said I didn't want kids - that I didn't get the purpose of school if I was going to be a homeschooling housewife, and that I wanted to go learn and do things instead, and my parents got upset and told me I was selfish for not giving myself to my future children.
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I bought into it. I was prepared. I practiced submitting my desires constantly so I could be a good future wife. Likewise, the boys around me were being groomed to be leaders, in their mens-only Bible studies.
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For years, even after leaving that world, I considered myself inferior - less intelligent, less driven, less brave, with submission beaten into me since infancy. It's taken a long time to see myself as equivalently capable, and I still have a long way to go.
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But I don't just blame the men - in every aspect the women around me were supporting the structure. It took me a long time to realize that this wasn't one gender oppressing the other - that by viewing it this way I was treating women as much as children as everyone else did.
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Replying to @cosine83
Both men and women were conditioned. If you absolve conditioned women of their complicitness, then you must absolve the men too.
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Replying to @cosine83
Are you saying something like, the more powerful you end up as a result of conditioning, the more you are responsible you are for escaping your conditioning? And the less powerful you end up as a result of conditioning, the less responsible you are for escaping your conditioning?
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Replying to @cosine83
benefits men? I mean they get 'decision responsibility' but also emotion expression is shamed, they're expected to be strong, and there's way more pressure on them. In our culture, if a woman fucked up, the man would bear the consequences if his woman fucked up. Not vice versa.
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I struggled in my own way to recover from the gender roles, but also the boys who escaped that culture do too. They suffered too. Just because a system puts people 'in power' doesn't mean it's kind to them.
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