Conversation

Lux Atl
@SpinnersNSaints
Many men seem to get off sexually by calling women mean names--slut, whore-- But when I engage sexually with a man, all I do is compliment him...? Being mean to men in bed: a kink. Being mean to women: the norm.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Replying to
@SpinnersNSaints
i feel like being mean to women in bed is a kink too.... its just more common that men prefer that kink than women do. Women also are more likely to prefer rapeplay than men are.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
and
@SpinnersNSaints
actually now that i think about it i think women probably like being called names more than men like calling them names. I didn't ask about that specifically but I did a study on the sexual fetish preferences of genders and women were way more into the powerplay stuff
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Lux Atl
@SpinnersNSaints
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
I'm not kinkshaming. I'm speaking to my lifelong experience as a sex worker. Truly a sign of the times when I can't remark upon the proliferation of male abuse of women and be "tut-tutted" for not being woke.
Lux Atl
@SpinnersNSaints
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
Work in a cam room, on the strip club stage, as a fssw, meet a man for the first time, immediately he's calling you "little slut" etc. This isn't kink play btwn two consenting adults. This is default treatment of a woman you've never met in service of sexual gratification.
Lux Atl
@SpinnersNSaints
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
This phenomenon happens outside of sex work as well--have sex with man, he's calling me "slut," "whore" as an apparent turn-on. Never have I called a man names like this as my default sexual behavior. This is a gender issue embedded in millennia of cultural conditioning.
Lux Atl
@SpinnersNSaints
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
So in summary: sure, some folks enjoy degradation kink. More power to them. That's not what I'm referring to, however. I'm referring to cultural conditioning that normalizes male degradation of women when the reverse is far from normalized.