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Conversation

I'm back home in Seattle! I left a salad on my bed last week and it melted into the mattress. Oh no.

2:22 AM · Sep 4, 2014

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yummy, mattress salad. If you throw out your mattress will that be tossing your salad?

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Some people will read this and wonder if you're really a woman. I read this and wonder if you're really human.

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can i just say your twitter pic matches this tweet perfectly?

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oops! Time for a new mattress or a gallon of Fabreeze! :-D

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it became one with your mattress. You're now a proud owner of a salad mattress

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Gross. #messygirlproblems #fuckinggross

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This could only happen to you.

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melted? it must have been made with iceberg lettuce