Trauma As Physics - on how sometimes we *need* other people to be traumatized in order to validate our own traumas
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I agree with your thesis
Human experience of any kind is filtered thru a human (duh)
That filter may alter the experience in any way conceivable, or not
Totally individual, so you can’t claim “i experienced X and had reaction Y, so you will also experience Y in response to X”
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I had the opposite experience I think.
Some things in my past were typical trauma fodder, but in my subjective experience they were kinda weird but not even top 10.
Then I moved to a place where a Queer Community existed; once, as the discussion veered in that direction 1/x
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... I mentioned the thing, in quite an equanimous fashion.
I have been suddenly showered with compassion, incredulity at my attitude, and insinuations that my attitude showed I hadn't really processed/faced my trauma.
I spent two literal months trying to feel traumatised 2/x
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There is a false dichotomy here:
Either trauma is absolute, or it's partially your responsibility
But it could be neither? You can be pushed to the floor and get seriously injured, while someone more agile won't, still doesn't make you responsible for being pushed
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Paradoxically in what I term the Lawrence of Arabia syndrome, it appears that long term trauma often comes from involuntary orgasm during rape. Extremely complex reaction to that terrible act of violence not easily assimilated.
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I have experienced events that can be considered r*pe. My bff has as well. Neither of us categorized it as such at the time. And neither of us are traumatized by it. To us it was just an unpleasant experience.
This personal experience has encountered serious pushback from some..
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I think this can be a bit of misperception; when you say, “hey, X happened to me and didn’t traumatize me” people don’t get upset bc your putting them as part of their own trauma, but rather because your speech goes against their anti-X cause!
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in the depths of recovery from a traumatizing event, it does not matter that others have been through what you have. and it’s impossible for other people to have the same experience as you anyway. nobody “needs” others to have the same experience as themselves to feel validated
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