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I often hear women talk about how they live in fear of men, on guard against sexual pursuit, being afraid to walk to their car alone, guarding drinks from drugs etc. - but I don't really feel afraid and haven't had much bad stuff happen to me? Idk why our experiences are diff 1/

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I *have* had some concrete 'men are scary' experiences, but those really don't feel like they generalize. Like, once had a man stalk/chase me home down some deserted alleyways, but that was at 2am in Istanbul. Or a violent client, but that was cause I failed to screen. 2/

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And subtler ways men are aggressive don't feel scary to me. Catcalling? Cool, I feel safe when there's other people on the street, never had a catcaller follow me. A guy hits on me aggressively at a club? Lol, no big deal, I feel 0% threatened, what's he gonna do? 3/

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I do occasionally experience fear but those are usually very narrow and specific circumstances. Don't care when a homeless guy asks me to suck his dick, but I'll hire a bodyguard for public meetups I attend, and if I don't see other women walking alone on a street I'll nope out

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But why do I have such different experiences from other women? Why do I generally encounter men as safe? Some theories:

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1. I'm taller and/or less attractive than other women who get pursued more aggressively; men just don't find me sufficiently appealing to actually be dangerous at?

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2. Something about my body language unconsciously conveys invulnerability/fearlessness; I don't vibe as an easy target and people stay away?

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3. I am in fact being aggressed upon as much as other women, but I don't really notice it or process it as a threat or danger to me? e.g. if a guy is a lil aggro I have strong, internalized assumptions that he's not *actually* going to hurt me

11:59 PM · Jan 18, 2023

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4. I am in situations that are much less dangerous on average - e.g. i go to clubs in nicer areas, less often, and get less drunk? Or I've lived in nicer areas? But I have lived in a *lot* of cities, in both nice and bad areas so ??

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5. men prefer to be aggro/scary at women only if they think the women won't like it? and i give off nice signals (e.g., saying thank-you to catcallers) that makes me less satisfying to harass?

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I am aware of a story you've talked about (not public to Twitter afaik but I think you know which I'm referring to), which, from an impartial perspective, was very high risk, and your initial interpretation was that it was a prank.

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yea this is some evidence

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I think this is the one. Everyone reacts to situations differently and I’ve seen in some of your online convos that you feel you don’t pick up on things everyone else seems to. Not that anyone is right or wrong as I’m sure every girl has their own exps or lack of exps

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I'm very sure it's this one. Most people's fear in social situations is very miscalibrated. Women are taught to be too scared by most feminisms and the patriarchy. My guess is you're weird so it didn't take

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My friend recently had one experience where he was walking behind a lady and they happened to make the same turns twice in their ways and he could notice the lady becoming very scared cause she kept looking back at him and hasten her steps and typing.

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i think it's this one, and it fits right into my recently developed General Theory of Aella, which is that your brain (more specifically the paraventricular nucleus of your hypothalamus) produces more oxytocin, or produces oxytocin more readily, than other people's

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Pretty sure it's this one.

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Some women are excessively sensitive to male upset or anger. I’m not. Some women are also bothered if a guy persists after being told “no” once. I’m not. I often find it funny and have no issue saying “no” again.

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