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I did MDMA recently and I thought it would make me finally love myself but instead it seems to have given me access to a LOT of feelings I previously had firmly barricaded away into a locked room in my subconscious.

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Oooh yes definitely!!

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I expected persistent self love!! I didn't know that I would regain the ability to feel shame.

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been trying to toot this horn for a while, ppl get too starry eyed about this drug

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hormeze

@hormeze

Apr 24, 2022

It seems like there's a possibility people have been given the impression that MDMA (in a therapeutic context) is exclusively an experience of pure love and acceptance and I feel the need to push back on that narrative a bit

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Aw thanks hormeze. I felt a lot of shame during it and it was confusing, to alternate between feeling a lot of love for myself and others and having the worst, most intense feelings of shame and my most horrible thoughts and memories. Comforting to know I didn’t do it wrong.

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I inevitably feel intense sorrow on MDMA every time I do it and I think that's good

3:58 PM · Jan 11, 2023

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❤️‍🔥🥲

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hormeze

@hormeze

Apr 24, 2022

In one roll, I told my sitter "it's all grief... But it's going on like a song" If I had been rocketing thru space on rocket ship of love and joy I would never have had this extremely beautiful experience

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