My understanding of nonbinary is it, in practice, most commonly means "person for whom it is very important that others do not assume they share the stereotypical traits of their sex"
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hmmm idk why this seems wrong, i think opinions about perception is like... usually part of it but not actually necessary? like a lot of enbies are like "oh since we now culturally have the option of going by they/them pronouns, i'd prefer that" but dont otherwise care much
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but probably when one sees an enby *in practice* (pimply plane.jpeg?) then it's bc it's very important that others don't assume this
bc it takes a lot of effort to successfully signal being a gender that's not really recognized by most people
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i've spent an annoying amount of time trying to figure out what gender in general actually is pointing to and this was as close as i got (gender is probably an outgrowth of division of labor)
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cursory reading of a few wiki pages on third, fourth, etc. genders indicates that gender roles are usually defined by/lock you into some combination of specific:
- occupations
- styles of dress
- eligibility for marriage
- roles in rituals
wonder if i'm missing anything
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maybe a more accurate description is
"person for whom assuming they share the stereotypical traits of their sex will cause confusion for everyone involved"
but still doesn't feel like it captures the whole thing
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there's also some weird thing going on where enbies seem to have a weird amount in common with each other that doesnt seem to be explained by like... trends? though this is anecdotal on my part. (could easily be attributed to autism tho)
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