I think I would really like to have kids, except most ppl with kids seem to have an unhappier life, no free time, much higher stress, and a worse relationship with their partner. That's a scary thing to willingly enter into.
re: many of the comments, I'm more concerned for me specifically compared to most people. I'm pretty aneurotypical, I have an extreme aversion to mundane tasks to the point that my life has suffered from it, I'm highly novelty optimizing, i have sensory issues and kids make noise
like I think maybe I've cooked a meal twice in my life? Because making food is an agonizing experience. Probably if I have kids they will need food, though!
Having access to abundant childcare (either paid or from extended family) is a game changer for sure. Also to some degree it seems having kids is an investment in the future: adult children and grand children seem to be significant sources of joy and connection later on.
I don’t have kids — but shot in the dark:
Inhumane requirements and status markers imposed by society. Make the necessary sacrifices and say no to social demands that make family life difficult.
…
Ex: If affordable, one parent may need to sacrifice their career for kids.
It might be a loss of a fulfilling career, it might be a loss of social status, it might mean less money…But many details will be easier to handle and bond with kids will be much tighter.