Conversation

Aella
@Aella_Girl
my poly life has been amazing in recent years, but it hasn't always been so good; there's been periods where I was less confident, dating people where I was less secure about the connection, and this combination made jealousy *really* hard to handle. 1/
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
my partner banging and loving someone else is a wonderful thing to see if I feel really good about myself and super secure in how much my partner loves me. If some part of me fears that I'm not good enough, then their relationship becomes really hard for me and I go a lil insane
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
i just didnt wanna sell that im an enlightened poly guru too much on the timeline; i have definitely had my moments in embarrassing poly-induced freakouts before. I just now interpret those moments as signs that relationship probably wasn't right for me!
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Cassandra Sky
@CassandraSky10
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
Makes sense! That being said, given that I view moments of insecurity and fear as part of all relationships, does that mean that one could only be in an open relationship if they felt secure all the time?
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Replying to
@CassandraSky10
no? i'm not sure how much this thing generalizes to ppl besides me. i definitely get moments of insecurity/fear in my current relationships, and have jealousy come up, but it feels like fluxes on top of a secure base, or useful/telling me somethin to pay attention to
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BLACK DUMPLING
@BlackDumpling57
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
and
@CassandraSky10
What matters is that you and your beliefs will die out with you. When everything about you is extinguished the world will be a better place for your absence as you won't be able to pass on the sickness to your children. You're the best kind of eugenics program. A voluntary one.
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Cassandra Sky
@CassandraSky10
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
Hmm fair enough; I do think my base is less secure than that (also less positively self-regarding) but not to the degree of “always insecure.” Luckily I’m not going for the exact same demographic of relationships you are (high-status men who want to sleep with many people)