Conversation

Aella
@Aella_Girl
my poly life has been amazing in recent years, but it hasn't always been so good; there's been periods where I was less confident, dating people where I was less secure about the connection, and this combination made jealousy *really* hard to handle. 1/
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
my partner banging and loving someone else is a wonderful thing to see if I feel really good about myself and super secure in how much my partner loves me. If some part of me fears that I'm not good enough, then their relationship becomes really hard for me and I go a lil insane
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
i just didnt wanna sell that im an enlightened poly guru too much on the timeline; i have definitely had my moments in embarrassing poly-induced freakouts before. I just now interpret those moments as signs that relationship probably wasn't right for me!
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Cassandra Sky
@CassandraSky10
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
Makes sense! That being said, given that I view moments of insecurity and fear as part of all relationships, does that mean that one could only be in an open relationship if they felt secure all the time?
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Replying to
@CassandraSky10
no? i'm not sure how much this thing generalizes to ppl besides me. i definitely get moments of insecurity/fear in my current relationships, and have jealousy come up, but it feels like fluxes on top of a secure base, or useful/telling me somethin to pay attention to
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Alex Kravetz
@adkravetz
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
Has that increased security/self love changed who you date? I'm wondering how much of that insecurity potentially came from picking the "wrong" partners vs needing to work on yourself.
Dallas_Gent
@major_ross
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
Reality: we all have moments of self doubt no matter what kind of relationship we're in. In the end, it's entirely up to oursleves to keep our self confidence up to achieve the happines we seek, through whatever tools we avail to ourselves. The grass is always greener applies.