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Conversation

today a partner came over wearing a new wifebeater shirt which made his arms look extremely sexy and i spent the whole day topless and bending over and trying to get him to bang me but he wouldn't because he was "working on a blog post about the number 5"

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I’m sorry to tell you this but your friend is gay.

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no he is very definitely straight, just even more definitely a nerd

4:45 AM · Dec 31, 2022

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I remember when I was 18, I went to a friends house. I was looking at my phone not paying attention, and she gets naked and grabs my hand and puts it on her freshly shaved snootch. I said “oh nice” and kept looking at my phone. I’m very straight, but I was very very dumb.🤷‍♂️

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