My mom *loved* the trad life; she was a homeschooling housewife, dutifully caring for her children
Unfortunately, her children did *not* love the trad life, and this resulted in a lot of upheaval
I wonder how many neo-trad marriages today will produce children who hate it
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lots of people with personalities very well suited to trad life are like 'hey this is great, let's make a world like this' and fail to predict that their children might not share their personalities, might end up growing up being like 'holy shit absolutely fuck that'
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(to be clear the trad part of this was bad, not the homeschooling part. the homeschooling part was great, just mentioned it to fully describe the dedication to housewife)
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As a little girl did you imagine you’d want a similar life (motherhood) or did you know pretty early that it wasn’t for you?
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i remember telling my mom i didn't want kids when i was 10, and she reacted with horror and called me selfish
(i think i might want kids now but im not sure/didn't want them for long time)
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This basically poses the question "What if children want to do things differently than their parents," which...
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I think trad parents expect their kids to be trad in a way that other subculture parents don't expect their kids to follow; as in most poly ppl I know don't expect their kids to be poly/super progressive in lifestyle
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I think the complementarianism was really psychologically damaging for me, I chafed at being expected to become a housewife and the training around that (eg., HATED cooking and they tried to force me to learn), the sexual suppression and shame for e.g. masturbating
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I think my mom loved being (relatively) trad at first but when she got a bad health diagnosis and realized her life was not going to be as long as she had assumed, she started to visibly express regret. Witnessing that is really what veered me in the other direction.
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My guess: kids growing up in happy traditional families will want to recreate them as adults; those in dysfunctional trad families will be more likely to rebel against them.
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Did the upheaval come from simply not liking the home structure and expressing that, or the expectation that you do the same with your own life?