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Going for a run every morning is healthier than not, but also I would never insist everyone should go for a run every morning. Some ppl's lives just aren't structured for that, can't make it a priority, other things are important. This is kinda how I feel about monogamy

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Aella

@Aella_Girl

Dec 16, 2022

Is polyamory (according to my definition of it aella.substack.com/p/the-polyamor) better? ...yes? but also there's a ton of 'better' things that just are too much effort for the payoff, you have to choose your battles, no shame. The real shame is in trying to force yourself to be 'better.'

Aella

@Aella_Girl

Dec 16, 2022

Lots of ppl view poly as an ideal in the same way they might view running every morning as an ideal, and then pursue it because they *want to be the kind of person who does that* as opposed to it actually being suited for them. I think these have similar bad downstream effects

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In your experience, what kinds of people are 'suited' to polyamory?

Aella

@Aella_Girl

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@trawets__

people for whom the experience of jealousy isn't crippling (though it can still be quite painful and take a while to process), and also have super secure, trusting relationships and have excellent communication even in periods of high stress and fear.

12:24 AM · Dec 16, 2022

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Makes sense