i get that ppl sometimes really love specific niche lifestyles, but sometimes they fill my entire body with existential horror - like wanting a relationship where your husband totally controls your life, or taking vows and getting given a new name at a buddhist monastery
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if someone's like 'naw this is the thing that deeply fulfills me' im gonna be like alrighty who am i to judge go do your thing. from my view MAPLE is deeply kinky, encompassingly fetishistic, life-altering masochism. I really hope they're all getting off on it well.
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Would you feel better in any way about a marriage where the wife totally controls his life? Cause that happens far more often.
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I think your instincts are good about the 24-7 controlling BDSM relationships. When I was a sub in one I tried to convince everyone it was good, but that’s just what victims of abuse typically do. It was definitely just a standard abusive relationship.
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Want real horror in a few years time your whole lifestyle may be completely changed. Never would I have expected to favour celibacy as my natural state of being or be capable of it; my sexuality now reserved for intense, creative and particular social effects.
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Specific niche lifestyles are subjective, are they not? For example, husband having complete control over your life might be more typical in certain countries. Do specific behaviors scare you or does differentiation from the norm scare you?
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you mentioned "optionality" in one reply, and that resonates -- like i've been practicing soto zen for years and would be delighted to take a dharma name and all that, but only as long as that doesn't preclude me from being Karma Gardener
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