Conversation

Aella
@Aella_Girl
I think most of my issues from my childhood stem from parents treating me like a thing they're supposed to make obey them as opposed to a real person with preferences that matter but like, this seems to be the societal default for all parenting, not just mine
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
sure, some of what kids want will directly harm them and we should prevent it, like not letting them run into streets, but a lot of them is harm we've *made up* to justify our attempts mold their brains into what we think they should be.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
i vividly remember as a kid thinking that adults didn't seem to treat me like a person, like my experience and feelings didn't actually matter. i was terrified about growing up, cause i knew they all used to be kids once, but *they* forgot, so that meant i was going to forget too
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
for most of us, childhood is just adults smashing down your autonomy in so many unnecessary ways. i've always felt parenting reveals the core of someone, is when you get to see what people are like when they are granted absolute power over another human being
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
(this is one reason why i feel uninterested in reconnecting with my dad; he might be acting nicer now, but i got to see who he was when he had power over me. it's made it starkly clear that any respect he affords me now is *only* because he can't control me)
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
(did ur parents really get nicer as u aged or did they just start treating u better cause they no longer have absolute power?)
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
ngl i think im gonna be a pretty decent parent based on the sheer fact that i have spent a lot of time carefully making sure i didn't forget what it was like to be a kid
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goblin à la mode 🍨
@goblinodds
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
god yeah i was sure i wouldnt forget but i vaguely remember swearing something similar to myself when i was like 9, like "if this is what it means to be an adult, i am NEVER going to become an adult"
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Dilwin Folger
@Toxoplamsa
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
There's something about this sentiment that i agree with very much. I had that thought too as a child. But i feel like holding on to that feeling does me more harm than good.
Mars
@marknadal
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
🙏 Do you have better memory than your friends? The more we engage children in discussions, across all age groups (schools age limit 🙄), I've noticed accelerates their emotional reasoning skills & developmental maturity. Who'd have guessed!? 🤪🤦
Misha Glouberman
@mishaglouberman
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
Yeah. Also there's this sense that childhood is just the way that adults get made. That leads to approaches to parenting, education, etc that are all about how the kid will *end up* in ten or twenty years, as if only that future adult matters, and not the present kid.
Aditya
@adityaarpitha
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
I can relate... It reminds me of my childhood self. But I don't think I held onto that memory in that fashion. Reading these tweets makes me feel Deja Vu, I remember crying into a pillow and writing notes to remind myself in the future.