But in my local cultures, it doesn't drop mate value; everybody's either a whore or whore-adjacent, men and women alike. Married people with kids are poly, or have boned a lot of ppl. A reasonably high amount of influential people in stable relationships have been to my orgies.
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One of my good friends, a iteral whore, is engaged to be married to a high SMV, successful artist; nobody in our community finds this abnormal, I've never heard a single person comment on it as weird, or comment on it at all.
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So in my personal world, me rambling about my difficulties finding a man I like is banal. It's unremarkable. It's r/mildlyinteresting. The men I have dated or considered dating, including one for whom marriage was on the discussion table, are really high SMV in my communities.
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I consistently forget or underrate how the outside normie culture really does not comprehend how different sexual norms can be, how they assume I must be tarnished goods because in their minds, an actually sex-positive culture among high quality/influential people cannot exist.
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The ppl who view me as damaged goods would be shocked if they knew how many successful people in the world - names you likely know of - are either engaged in these lifestyles themselves or at least in relationships with high-promiscuity women. They just aren't as loud about it!
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And the thing is, the same kinds of things that select for independent success are *also* the kinds of things that select for sexual promiscuity - you have to be really openminded and and an unconventional thinker, good at risk taking, unbound by unquestioned morality.
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If you're the kind of person to be able to decouple enough to deconstruct the sexual morality conditioned onto you by society, it makes sense you're more likely to make clever, innovative moves in business or philosophy or art.
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If you celebrate unconventional genius for succeeding via breaking norms, why do you think they'd be any more conventional in their personal life? That world is full of people who accept sexual defaults that would make normies clutch pearls and cry that society is crumbling.
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And of course I don't mean to say that all successful people are sexually promiscuous; my more precise claim is that the more you enter unconventionally successful spheres, the higher the degree of promiscuity-acceptance you'll find.
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I'm following what you're writting, etc. And I must admit that I find it surprising that you mention not being able to find said mate. Do you have any idea on why is it the case ? Because every criteria I can think of, doesn't seem like that big of an obstacle in the community
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idk how to say it without sounding like an asshole but i generally feel most men i meet, i feel like i sort of outclass them? sometimes i meet a guy who makes me feel equally matched and im like 'yes i can has u pls'
like i mostly wanna meet a guy who (among other basic compatibility stuff like being poly) says things that feel deeply surprising/novel to me, who feels like they are putting together concepts in nonstandard ways
lots of rationalists do hit this!
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