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ive been a mix of sick/recovering from medical stuff/lots of sleeping in bed/can't exercise at all this last week, and it's really affecting me mentally. It's kinda unsettling how powerful it is; my brain is like "oh everybody hates me and nothing is worth doing"

251

Aella

@Aella_Girl

Oct 26, 2022

and it *feels* so convincing. Like, it doesn't feel like oh my body is having a hard time and this is affecting my other systems in a depressive way, it *feels like* all of the reasons for me being lame are suddenly more valid and important and i'm just now seeing the light

105

Aella

@Aella_Girl

and i keep wanting to go around asking people for validation and emotional support, and then my crazybrain keeps being terrified that if i do they will all dislike me more cause i'm being needy and weak. I cant wait till i can start normal life again i'm going insane

5:31 AM · Oct 26, 2022

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anyway if any of yall wanted to say nice things about me idk i wouldnt hate that

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You should give yourself permission to ask for that validation and support when you need it you’re like 99% likely to be pleasantly surprised to deeply moved and the people who care about you will be stoked to offer it

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Same but I wouldn't be caught dead asking for validation. It just ain't done is the thing. IME it's almost always a matter of momentum. You keep going, you feel fine. You stop, you feel the second-guesses creeping up behind you. Figuring out how to keep going seems promising.

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I find the idea of people disliking you because you need them difficult to believe. I think you probably have more people around you that wish they felt needed by you than you realize.

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cut yourself some slack. You've been ill. Let your body recover. Patience itself is sometimes a workout

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I think this is more of a problem for guys. Lots of guys *want* someone to save. Certainly not all, and guys who are busy are probably more likely to find it annoying, but it's a big enough percentage that these guys shouldn't be hard to find.

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Being needy is not weak. It’s hard to be alone and strong and smart. It feels like miles from anyone and not in the peaceful camping way. I know this first hand. Sending virtual hugs and a credit for real ones whenever you are near

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I think your a fascinating human, and I enjoy the thought experiments you boldly throw out into the wind.