ive been a mix of sick/recovering from medical stuff/lots of sleeping in bed/can't exercise at all this last week, and it's really affecting me mentally. It's kinda unsettling how powerful it is; my brain is like "oh everybody hates me and nothing is worth doing"
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and it *feels* so convincing. Like, it doesn't feel like oh my body is having a hard time and this is affecting my other systems in a depressive way, it *feels like* all of the reasons for me being lame are suddenly more valid and important and i'm just now seeing the light
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and i keep wanting to go around asking people for validation and emotional support, and then my crazybrain keeps being terrified that if i do they will all dislike me more cause i'm being needy and weak.
I cant wait till i can start normal life again i'm going insane
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anyway if any of yall wanted to say nice things about me idk i wouldnt hate that
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That’s my everyday. It sucks, but I audibly tell my brain to F off and I go take care of patients. Had to do it throughout school and college too. Imposter syndrome is no joke.
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The worst part of being sick for me is not getting to excercise, leading to depression and anxiety on top of sickness. I feel ya.
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It's absolutely nuts how back-of-the-train our brain is...truly not steering as much as we think.
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Hey, I'm a stranger and we're never going to meet but, for what it's worth, I don't hate you and think you're cool.
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That's a very characteristic sympthom of depression. The feeling that you are just seeing the world clearly, and that some filter that distorted the world has been taking out of your eyes. Your inmune system can do that. Get care, surround yourself with loved ones.
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