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Conversation

being well known in specific subcultures creates some weird dynamic when attending meetups or e.g. vibecamp cause like, you have a default shared context (if asymmetric) with most ppl, which is nice, but then like 5% of them also hate you. 1/

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it makes interacting with anyone new a little weird and scary, like it's rolling a dice - you're grabbing a drink and a stranger is standing there and do you smile and be friendly/warm, when there's a chance they think you're horrible person and have you blocked? 2/

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in these subcultures, everyone already has a relationship with you, while you don't have a relationship with them. You walk through a room of people you've never met who have opinions formed about you, and it's just... idk it's really intense. 3/

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at one event i went up to a stranger during some tea tasting and he said some beautiful things and it felt open and warm and touching to me, and i was really vulnerable, almost cried a few times, and then when i looked him up to follow him on twitter he had me blocked. 4/

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and stuff like that puts a thread of dark scary into every interaction, for me. like i have to actively remind myself to be more careful about what i say or how friendly i am, or else i might accidentally bare a bit of my heart to a person who secretly views me as an enemy 5/

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it's ok if ppl don't like me, i just wish they would like... wear a wristband so i know who to avoid. i feel like im walking through a field in a dark night, and all around me are friends and enemies hiding on the ground dressed in camo, but i'm upright and covered in glowsticks

12:43 AM · Sep 29, 2022

@distantbarking

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How long is your block list? How many of those people are warm and kind? Could you automatically point them out at a gathering? It works both ways.

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@distantbarking

I block anyone who personally insults me, but also would have no idea who they were of they attended a party.

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This made me sad to read, it's why I went anon after gaining status in my community in the past. You become a persona even if you don't want to be. People speak your name and make it so. Your influence comes at the cost of romance in new relationships. Begin again if you can

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That sounds hard. 🫂

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Ehh. Simple solution. Recognise that online isn't real. The Internet is fucked. Treat it as such.

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Probably easier to develop code words and shibboleths for the friendlies than expect haters to self-identify.

@BigPartyAmerica

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Upright in glowsticks is a great metaphor

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Things arent so bad

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Fame is weird & used to be reserved for the ‘truly famous’. But internet distribution has led to sub-cultures and someone ‘barely famous’ is more famous to people in that sub-culture than a movie or pop star. Today more people than ever in history r having same experience as you.

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Idan ("eden") Solon ("sew-lin") (

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I feel like being a male in America’s a little like this. So many just have negative views of men they don’t know.

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You have to learn to let go of their essence. What someone thinks of you is only a problem if it interferes with your psyche... They want to have that power to affect you, control, or at least to make you think of them. They don't matter, it's ethereal. You're beautiful, just bee