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being well known in specific subcultures creates some weird dynamic when attending meetups or e.g. vibecamp cause like, you have a default shared context (if asymmetric) with most ppl, which is nice, but then like 5% of them also hate you. 1/

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Aella

@Aella_Girl

Sep 29, 2022

it makes interacting with anyone new a little weird and scary, like it's rolling a dice - you're grabbing a drink and a stranger is standing there and do you smile and be friendly/warm, when there's a chance they think you're horrible person and have you blocked? 2/

Aella

@Aella_Girl

Sep 29, 2022

in these subcultures, everyone already has a relationship with you, while you don't have a relationship with them. You walk through a room of people you've never met who have opinions formed about you, and it's just... idk it's really intense. 3/

130

Aella

@Aella_Girl

Sep 29, 2022

at one event i went up to a stranger during some tea tasting and he said some beautiful things and it felt open and warm and touching to me, and i was really vulnerable, almost cried a few times, and then when i looked him up to follow him on twitter he had me blocked. 4/

129

Aella

@Aella_Girl

and stuff like that puts a thread of dark scary into every interaction, for me. like i have to actively remind myself to be more careful about what i say or how friendly i am, or else i might accidentally bare a bit of my heart to a person who secretly views me as an enemy 5/

12:42 AM · Sep 29, 2022

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it's ok if ppl don't like me, i just wish they would like... wear a wristband so i know who to avoid. i feel like im walking through a field in a dark night, and all around me are friends and enemies hiding on the ground dressed in camo, but i'm upright and covered in glowsticks

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it's okay if you bare a bit of your heart to an enemy sometimes, maybe bearing your heart will convert them into a friend 💜

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I think it may be good to realize that you as a Twitter personality and you as a person are quite different. I've blocked or muted people that I don't see as enemies simply because I didn't want my feed to be full of them, or I was just not interested in their tweets.

Replying to

I know this

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Imagine living in a country like Iran

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Thanks for the thread, but I struggle to empathise with this bit. What is the cost of having laid yourself bare to someone who blocked you years ago for some edgy tweet like the "big breasts make teacher" stuff?

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