being well known in specific subcultures creates some weird dynamic when attending meetups or e.g. vibecamp
cause like, you have a default shared context (if asymmetric) with most ppl, which is nice, but then like 5% of them also hate you. 1/
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it makes interacting with anyone new a little weird and scary, like it's rolling a dice - you're grabbing a drink and a stranger is standing there and do you smile and be friendly/warm, when there's a chance they think you're horrible person and have you blocked? 2/
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in these subcultures, everyone already has a relationship with you, while you don't have a relationship with them. You walk through a room of people you've never met who have opinions formed about you, and it's just... idk it's really intense. 3/
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at one event i went up to a stranger during some tea tasting and he said some beautiful things and it felt open and warm and touching to me, and i was really vulnerable, almost cried a few times, and then when i looked him up to follow him on twitter he had me blocked. 4/
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and stuff like that puts a thread of dark scary into every interaction, for me. like i have to actively remind myself to be more careful about what i say or how friendly i am, or else i might accidentally bare a bit of my heart to a person who secretly views me as an enemy 5/
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it's ok if ppl don't like me, i just wish they would like... wear a wristband so i know who to avoid. i feel like im walking through a field in a dark night, and all around me are friends and enemies hiding on the ground dressed in camo, but i'm upright and covered in glowsticks
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That 5% is taking a useless, unfortunate gamble; it would be nice for these events to be reasonably boundary-less and open, it’s sadly not likely, having strong opinions of a person who has no effect on you, online, is not normal.
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Replying to @gptbrooke
It’s an unfortunately common misunderstanding to think you know someone from the side of themselves they share on social media. Twitter seems especially likely for people to mistake short term discourse and observation for true acquaintance. Setting clear boundaries is good.
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Damn that sounds like a uniquely difficult problem associated with being well known :/
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J & I have something similar, but it doesn't matter if they like or dislike us, it weighs heavily either way. But it can be relieving to think of how we each seemed to have just as large of a presence in a room before we got naked on the internets--just how it's always been.
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Those are asymmetrical relationships, well documented on the video game streaming world
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