Conversation

Aella
@Aella_Girl
two people are married and both agree that they don't want the other person to sit in any chairs outside the home. standing only. one day one of them gets tired at work, and they sit in a chair. Ashamed, they lie to their partner about it, pretend it never happened. 1/
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Is this bad? lying, a betrayal of their relationship? yeah definitely, but I don't really feel an emotional punch of horror here. idk, seems real unsurprising someone gave into tired legs at some point, the original agreement seemed super unrealistic to begin with. 2/
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
this sort of sums up the way I feel when I see cheating portrayed in media - I don't feel horror, just like, well of course, what did u expect with such an unrealistic agreement? This emotionally disconnects me from a whole lot of plotlines in media.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
I am not trying to argue here the chair analogy is actually the same thing as monogamy- chairs don't pose a pregnancy risk for example - I'm just trying to convey how mundane it strikes me. feels like I'm watching someone sit down in a chair and everyone gasps.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
"oh right, i forgot they weren't supposed to sit in the chair, I guess they promised not to do that for some reason. um, grrr. how terrible1!!1!" - my emotions
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Lucio Martelli
@LucioMM1
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
you react that way because it's ultraeasy for you to find quality partners with low effort. For most people that isn't the case. You need effort to cheat basically, espec. if beta male So what feels terrible is the idea of your partner spending significant efforts with others
Two Pears Studio
@delporteart
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
Of course… over the years standards come and go… mostly depending on the state of the society. Human beings, un fettered and without “rules” are only capable of adaptation… Barbary and mayhem ensue…
Pythagoras
@Pythago93935367
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
The thing you dont mention is that vast majority of society agreed to not sit. I would like to come up with an opposite analogy but i think you are wired differently. I remember when I was young and my ex i still had feelings to slept with somebody… it destroyed me, the pain…
Roy Newswarthy
@EvelynxPrime
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
Yeah, your personal feelings on the matter don't seem to reflect society's mores, to me it actually seems pretty warped. Cheating is a huge red flag, if they're lying about that, what else are they lying about.
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anna brodsky ☮
@spac3_flow3r
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
1. Lying is more of an issue than sitting. 2. Sitting on chairs is mundane. Sex can be out of this world ultra bliss super bond mega meaningful mind blowing intense connection sacred. Its natural to some to wish to preserve that bond exclusively.
John. Just John.
@a_just_john
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
since everyone is still arguing about whether your feelings are Valid or whatever, let me say that I think this thread did a good job of conveying, to me, what your emotional reaction to cheating in media is. it was a good analogy! very clear and evocative
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Kwicherbichen™
@Kwicherbichen
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
I agree about the media portrayal. 'Most' people probably give 2 shits about someone else cheating (public or political figure). The media tries to make it a pearl-clutching event while most of them are cheating too.
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