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two people are married and both agree that they don't want the other person to sit in any chairs outside the home. standing only. one day one of them gets tired at work, and they sit in a chair. Ashamed, they lie to their partner about it, pretend it never happened. 1/

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Is this bad? lying, a betrayal of their relationship? yeah definitely, but I don't really feel an emotional punch of horror here. idk, seems real unsurprising someone gave into tired legs at some point, the original agreement seemed super unrealistic to begin with. 2/

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this sort of sums up the way I feel when I see cheating portrayed in media - I don't feel horror, just like, well of course, what did u expect with such an unrealistic agreement? This emotionally disconnects me from a whole lot of plotlines in media.

7:56 AM · Sep 20, 2022

Replying to

I am not trying to argue here the chair analogy is actually the same thing as monogamy- chairs don't pose a pregnancy risk for example - I'm just trying to convey how mundane it strikes me. feels like I'm watching someone sit down in a chair and everyone gasps.

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"oh right, i forgot they weren't supposed to sit in the chair, I guess they promised not to do that for some reason. um, grrr. how terrible1!!1!" - my emotions

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re:replies, guys this thread is trying to convey my emotional reaction to seeing cheating depicted in media, if I were trying to convey the downsides of monogamy I would have picked a different analogy.

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mrattapuss (parody)

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monogamy isn't an unrealistic agreement lol

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thevoicestoldmetoeatbabies

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strong autism brag i like it

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Emmanuel Morales

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I think that being monogamous or polygamous is similar to being gay or hetero, is a brain thing that is there and tends to be hard for one side to understand the other and just a few people can be both. But also western society ignores the poly people in their conventions

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for many people sexual intimacy is the highest level of vulnerability. probably why so many societal and religious norms have such staying power. if it is different for you (like me) both intellectually and emotionally, accept that we are anomalies, not the norm

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What is unrealistic about monogamy? If two people love each other, are commuted to the relationship and truly put their spouse’s interests ahead of their own it is quite satisfying for both.

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Finlay McCarthy

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> what did u expect with such an unrealistic agreement? How did she so confidently determine that it was unrealistic?

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