two people are married and both agree that they don't want the other person to sit in any chairs outside the home. standing only.
one day one of them gets tired at work, and they sit in a chair. Ashamed, they lie to their partner about it, pretend it never happened. 1/
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Is this bad? lying, a betrayal of their relationship? yeah definitely, but I don't really feel an emotional punch of horror here. idk, seems real unsurprising someone gave into tired legs at some point, the original agreement seemed super unrealistic to begin with. 2/
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this sort of sums up the way I feel when I see cheating portrayed in media - I don't feel horror, just like, well of course, what did u expect with such an unrealistic agreement? This emotionally disconnects me from a whole lot of plotlines in media.
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I am not trying to argue here the chair analogy is actually the same thing as monogamy- chairs don't pose a pregnancy risk for example - I'm just trying to convey how mundane it strikes me. feels like I'm watching someone sit down in a chair and everyone gasps.
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"oh right, i forgot they weren't supposed to sit in the chair, I guess they promised not to do that for some reason. um, grrr. how terrible1!!1!" - my emotions
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re:replies, guys this thread is trying to convey my emotional reaction to seeing cheating depicted in media, if I were trying to convey the downsides of monogamy I would have picked a different analogy.
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It’s the betrayal of trust that causes the turmoil not “sitting in the chair”
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if sitting in chairs doesn't cause turmoil then people should stop making agreements that would cause the breach of trust in the first place
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Monogamy is not that hard. You don’t steal. You don’t get into fist fights. You don’t cheat on your partner. It’s a societal contract. If you don’t want to be bound by that contract, choose a partner who feels the same.
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It's extremely bizarre that people care so much about this one thing, though. To the point of submitting themselves to extreme pain and financial distress. For what? Your partner's skin was in contact with that of another human for a few minutes or hours. Big deal.
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