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I'm very down with ppl reclaiming monogamy if they feel like they're 'supposed to be' poly, but I also don't wanna lose sight of which of those two relationship styles is the extremely dominant cultural norm, making up prob over 99% of relationships portrayed in media

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Aella

@Aella_Girl

yeah, maybe your friends are acting like poly is cool and this makes u feel lame for being monog, but also remember u need to step outside like two feet into the vast majority of normal culture who mocks poly men as cucks and poly women as whores.

5:35 PM · Sep 14, 2022

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Aella plz say something about recent discourse casting poly men as groomers/coercive and women dating them as non-agentic victims?

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John Lockwood

@johnwlockwoodiv

Sep 14, 2022

The majority opinion of you can certainly have material impact on your life.

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I know a decent number of the former and zero of the later (I'm not involved in anything resembling a kink or sexuality community). I'm not comfortable with my partner being with other folks and I've only ever been criticized for that stance (those who agree don't say anything)

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few things in the media should ne considered as "the norm". Most of them are selling something.

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Yet to meet a man living in a poly relationship who isn’t actually just being exploited by the woman

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One of my favorite shows is Letterkenny because of Katy/Jonsie/Riley and their portrayal of a poly relationship that doesn't include jealousy and really isn't commented on otherwise.

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I do feel that queer circles tend to be slightly more open to poly-ness so if you're a straight poly person you might feel like you are going especially strongly against cultural norms (because you differ from them in an obvious way rather than multiple ways)

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I feel both sides of this. Like the norms of your subculture can easily feel more imposing than the wider culture, even if your culture is like 1% E.g. if you're in rationality culture and don't think AI risk is significant