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Sep 12, 2022

Sexual dissatisfaction is the no1 driver of political reactionaryism in GenZ + younger, and honestly I don’t blame them. Expecting HUMANS to be OK with being disposable as a cultural norm that literally no one believes in is a totally absurd social self own of our times.

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Anna Gát

@TheAnnaGat

Sep 12, 2022

Almost every conversation I have in New York outside work is with women who do not want to be poly but are somehow forced to. I realise over and over that more people are more conservative than you think. I don’t think that’s a bad thing either.

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Aella

@Aella_Girl

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@TheAnnaGat

again, wincing at the implication that poly means disposable. This in no way matches up with my 10 years+ experience with polyamory. I don't mind monogamy, but it bothers me a bit when people support monogamy by putting down polyamory.

10:27 PM · Sep 12, 2022

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and

ideally we should be saying monogamy *is okay too*, polyamory *is okay too*, both can have commitment and dedication and excitement, both have pros and cons, and it's okay to take a stand for one without saying the other is bad

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and

it's spread enough that many not-actually-poly people are claiming it & not educating themselves about good communication norms, the diff between poly & open & monogamish, etc. 1/2

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and

basically treating it as equivalent to what monog did before committing; dating around & sleeping around w/o being clear with relationship status or intentions 2/2

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and

polyamory is one way that the modern dating market distracts from family formation, which is what most women really want (or should want) in the end There are exceptions - but it’s something that should be acknowledged and dealt with accordingly to the extent this is the trend

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and

There's nothing stopping poly people from committing and having a family. It's not something inherent to polyamory, it's 20 and 30 year olds in big cities being casual and bewildered by options whether poly or mono.

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and

Would you agree polyamory is harder to do well? Even holding all else equal, there are just more moving parts, more people to coordinate between. And for most people fewer (aka zero) role models of it done well. One should expect that people trying it will have more problems.

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and

I wonder what happens if we try to distinguish between “loving multiple people” and “having multiple sexual partners?”

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and

I assume the problem a lot of women are having is with short term relationships. They probably live somewhere with a sex ratio that favours men and the men prefer a series of casual flings so they can't find anyone to commit.