which is lower curiosity, or something related? I was talking to some of my friends, complaining how hard it was to find a partner who seemed actively, genuinely curious about me, and realized this seems to be a really gendered thing.
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like, when im in relationships i love asking careful questions, cause im super curious about my partner, i want to know about them, how their mind works, how they feel about the world. but its rare to find someone who wants to do it to me
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and i think this is probably a gendered thing and it makes me feel sad. i can accept a dude who never cries or wants to bang a new woman every week, but it feels really painful to just 'accept' low curiosity from a man. it feels like not being loved
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I had to work a lot to have innate interest in people and I’m still only okay at it, whereas my brain was like insanely interested by default by say physics, economics, ai, etc
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when i imagine the person-things interest gender split as "men don't like talkign about social drama or who went to the grocery store when" then im like that makes sense, but when i imagine "men dont like dissecting the system of a person's mind" i get angry
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so for me specifically it's like, if they're down to actually whiteboard and diagram out all their different parts and how they're interacting and what algorithms they've reverse-engeineered that they're running, i'm extremely down and excited by that, but ..
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that seems cool! that seems in line with what i would love. but i need someone to *ask me* to start learning about the different parts, and help me diagram it out, and express actual interest in that. if youre that kinda person then that seems cool
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not really? but i also don't really expect it from female friends, theres a level of prying into each other's brains that seems to mostly only happen for me with romantic partners
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I have had quite a bit of this with some female friends over the years, and I’m a big fan! If it doesn’t sound unappealing to you, I think I recommend it?
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yeah i think im down! i've had things that approach this in some friend groups wehre there's more of a curiosity culture, and would love to get more of it in general