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i am pretty down with a lot of the stereotypical ways men can't 'satisfy' women; not as emotionally in tune, wants higher novelty in mate choice, bad at picking up underwear or whatever. I've come to terms with all that, celebrate differences! except for one thing

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Aella

@Aella_Girl

Sep 12, 2022

which is lower curiosity, or something related? I was talking to some of my friends, complaining how hard it was to find a partner who seemed actively, genuinely curious about me, and realized this seems to be a really gendered thing.

303

Aella

@Aella_Girl

Sep 12, 2022

like, when im in relationships i love asking careful questions, cause im super curious about my partner, i want to know about them, how their mind works, how they feel about the world. but its rare to find someone who wants to do it to me

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Aella

@Aella_Girl

Sep 12, 2022

and i think this is probably a gendered thing and it makes me feel sad. i can accept a dude who never cries or wants to bang a new woman every week, but it feels really painful to just 'accept' low curiosity from a man. it feels like not being loved

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I had to work a lot to have innate interest in people and I’m still only okay at it, whereas my brain was like insanely interested by default by say physics, economics, ai, etc

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when i imagine the person-things interest gender split as "men don't like talkign about social drama or who went to the grocery store when" then im like that makes sense, but when i imagine "men dont like dissecting the system of a person's mind" i get angry

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so for me specifically it's like, if they're down to actually whiteboard and diagram out all their different parts and how they're interacting and what algorithms they've reverse-engeineered that they're running, i'm extremely down and excited by that, but ..

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that seems cool! that seems in line with what i would love. but i need someone to *ask me* to start learning about the different parts, and help me diagram it out, and express actual interest in that. if youre that kinda person then that seems cool

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Do you get much of this from female friends?

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not really? but i also don't really expect it from female friends, theres a level of prying into each other's brains that seems to mostly only happen for me with romantic partners

3:40 AM · Sep 12, 2022

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I have had quite a bit of this with some female friends over the years, and I’m a big fan! If it doesn’t sound unappealing to you, I think I recommend it?

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yeah i think im down! i've had things that approach this in some friend groups wehre there's more of a curiosity culture, and would love to get more of it in general

卂𝚗𝚝𝚒Ҝ𝚛𝚒𝚙𝚔𝚎𝚊𝚗

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and

I’m a stranger online, but analyzing you from this, I think it’s since you value the intricacy of your mind and want it to be something a partner would engage with. Like how many women would feel hurt if they put effort into their appearances and partners never complimented them.