body { -ms-overflow-style: scrollbar; overflow-y: scroll; overscroll-behavior-y: none; } .errorContainer { background-color: #FFF; color: #0F1419; max-width: 600px; margin: 0 auto; padding: 10%; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; } .errorButton { margin: 3em 0; } .errorButton a { background: #1DA1F2; border-radius: 2.5em; color: white; padding: 1em 2em; text-decoration: none; } .errorButton a:hover, .errorButton a:focus { background: rgb(26, 145, 218); } .errorFooter { color: #657786; font-size: 80%; line-height: 1.5; padding: 1em 0; } .errorFooter a, .errorFooter a:visited { color: #657786; text-decoration: none; padding-right: 1em; } .errorFooter a:hover, .errorFooter a:active { text-decoration: underline; } #placeholder, #react-root { display: none !important; } body { background-color: #FFF !important; }

JavaScript is not available.

We’ve detected that JavaScript is disabled in this browser. Please enable JavaScript or switch to a supported browser to continue using twitter.com. You can see a list of supported browsers in our Help Center.

Terms of Service Privacy Policy Cookie Policy Imprint Ads info © 2023 Twitter, Inc.

Conversation

i am pretty down with a lot of the stereotypical ways men can't 'satisfy' women; not as emotionally in tune, wants higher novelty in mate choice, bad at picking up underwear or whatever. I've come to terms with all that, celebrate differences! except for one thing

69

24

406

which is lower curiosity, or something related? I was talking to some of my friends, complaining how hard it was to find a partner who seemed actively, genuinely curious about me, and realized this seems to be a really gendered thing.

25

8

303

like, when im in relationships i love asking careful questions, cause im super curious about my partner, i want to know about them, how their mind works, how they feel about the world. but its rare to find someone who wants to do it to me

14

12

339

and i think this is probably a gendered thing and it makes me feel sad. i can accept a dude who never cries or wants to bang a new woman every week, but it feels really painful to just 'accept' low curiosity from a man. it feels like not being loved

20

11

381

i have trouble empathizing with lack of curiosity like i can empathize with other gendered differences. I think i hold maybe a little bitterness at how often i feel unmet/unmatched/empty in that way.

3:05 AM · Sep 12, 2022

Replying to

although to be fair maybe i have unreasonably high standards. you know how merciless i am with twitter polls and question formation, i am no different in my romantic life, and it might be unreasonable to want that level of curious intensity from someone else

46

4

171

Replying to

Women tend to talk more, a lot more, than the typical man, and they love talking about themselves, their thoughts, worries, etc. So many men probably have learned through experience that they don't need to, because the women will just tell them everything if they listen.

2

7

Replying to

then these men are spectacularly bad at updating

2

4

Show replies

Scott Stevenson

@scottastevenson

Replying to

Is it lack of curiousity, or lack of curiousity about people? Maybe it’s actually the interest in things vs. interest in people dichotomy? “Thing people” have to storyify their things in order to get people people interested …

1

3

Scott Stevenson

@scottastevenson

Replying to

@scottastevenson

and

Thing people can be made curious about people if you turn it into a thing: - Talk about systems like Myers Briggs and how they relate to you - Turn your personhood into metrics and stats 😂

1

2

Show replies

Jackson Carpenter

Replying to

Just spitballing here, but if we assume it’s true that men tend as a group on average to be more interested in things than people, maybe working side-by-side on a shared project is a key component of how a male might “discover” how a partner’s mind works?

Tyr - in fear we trust

@amaturefuturist

Replying to

Na, not gendered. I think it's more related to theory of mind in the individual with the curiosity. There could be something else linking your friends partners

1

1

Replying to

FWIW, I'm a dude and my experience is that I'm the more curious partner

1

3

Replying to

a lack of curiosity *is* a lack of love, I think how can someone be in a relationship and not want to get to know their partner? that seems kind of bizarre to me

1

8

Andrés Gómez Emilsson

Replying to

You might find this Miller insight useful:

qualiacomputing.com

So Why Can’t My Boyfriend Communicate?

For every word written in scientific journals about the evolution of astonishing language ability, at least a hundred words have been written in women’s magazines about men’s apparent i…

1

4