Conversation

I’d like to see a calm & sane take on why this is a norm breaking question to ask I’m not saying I don’t ‘get it’ intuitively but intuition isnt enough - there’s difficult intellectual work in articulating a social intuition (inc. not being too triggered to read the vibes good)

Quote Tweet

Aella

@Aella_Girl

Sep 3, 2022

who in the ingroup would you recommend to others as being particularly good at sex?

Show this thread

Replying to

you need someone's permission to talk about them sexually and publicly - one general norm "a compliment that you sought someone's permission to give is weird" is another dial it up with the intrigue of "x person has slept with y person" from bystanders and you get here

Replying to

Yea seems right So doxing who did the deed is a large part of it & even if it was a known relationship it’s sort of hard to believe someone being like ‘my bf is so good’… or ‘my ex was good’… there’s weird pressures at play that make it hard to take answers at face value

Replying to

and

huh now it occurs to me that also probably different people have wildly different sexual experiences with the same person context and the interplay between the two people involved probably have a massive effect on quality

Replying to

and

yea i have a friend who sometimes recommends me sleep with people she's slept with, and its sometimes like 'i did not like this guy but i think u would'

2:26 AM · Sep 4, 2022

Replying to

and

whoa huh makes sense though!