some ppl emanate an aura of warmth, like they're on a microdose of mdma all the time. they draw you in, are soft, charming, call you on the phone, remember your name
whatever this is, i am not it; my social aura is catlike and cold. i dont mean this personally, its just how i am!
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i dont like hugs and have trouble socializing one on one unless we have a concrete goal and am kinda faceblind and if im even a little tired i have trouble managing normal social facial expressions and am pretty uncomfortable with affection, it's not you it's me
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at social events, starting up any interaction often feels like getting into a cold pool; i have to sort of pysche myself up for it, and if there's anyything else going on that depletes my willpower ill probably do my best to avoid everyone until an easy pool entrance appears
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my preferred mode of bonding with people involves acting like we dont care about each other while finding some excuse to spend time around each other and avoiding eye contact until one day you feel like best friends
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that or doing lsd and circling, idk
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the best way to interact with me is either to silently exist in the same room with me while we both are doing something not involving direct attention at each other, or by asking me a really unusual and intense question that breaks the normal social frame. i love that.
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the key to my heart is through novelty. if u can give me some kernel of interaction that is actually new and interesting to me, i will probably remember you and try to add you on facebook
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I think about this a lot and even try to emulate it. The downside seems to be that many of those people feel sad & lonely when they’re not around others.
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