i am *terrible* at asking for things. every opportunity I've had with other people was someone else coming to me. How do I get better at asking for things? It's almost like it doesn't even occur to me that i can, and when it does occur it feels like a weird mythical idea.
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I’m generally bad at asking for things as well, but with one big exception. I have asked at least 150+ people to come on the podcast, mostly strangers, some multiple times. A few thoughts that may or may not help you:
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1. I think it is generally easier to do something again than for the first time, and gets easier each time. So if you have a specific category of asks that would be helpful, start with one ask of that type, then a second, etc.. Easier than trying to ask more for things generally.
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This is you asking for things:
"How do I get better at asking for things? It's almost like it doesn't even occur to me that i can, and when it does occur it feels like a weird mythical idea."
Lots of people are giving thoughtful responses. You already know how to do this!
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Well the brain is moldable. Brain plasticity. Everything you do is competing for brain space. If you do something less its brain allocation becomes less. Do something more and more brain resources start to be allocated to that. Strat becomes to get better at something, do it more
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ask for whatever you think of as "small" things even if you don't "need"/want them very much (or even at all). asking for things is on some level a social habit
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Amanda Palmer has a Ted Talk (and autobiography) called The Art of Asking that you might find interesting.
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Do you know when you want or need something?
I think you just have to be able to connect the want/need to asking for it.
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you could use a language model. Just do normal journaling about your life and problems and such as you might normally then at the end add “what are some thing I could ask for” and have an essentially-infinite list of ideas autocompleted for you
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