Most of the early casual sex I had was not very pleasurable, and as I realized I didn't get a lot out of it, I mostly stopped.
But turns out having good casual sex is a skill, and learning to do it better has been really fulfilling, and has renewed my interest in it!
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and the skill isn't in the sex itself - it's in stuff like really learning your own body and desires, learning what you want and how to have good boundaries, how to communicate clearly, how to select more talented, attentive partners, how to stay compassionate with yourself.
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A lot of people first try having casual sex early in life, usually before they're mature enough to have developed enough skill to be clear and confident. No wonder it's so often an unpleasant experience!
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Teaching clearer communication and more honesty about what one wants or prefers in bed would go a long way to making casual sex more worthwhile.
The question is how best to teach these skills.
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I also think many people go into casual sex expecting more from it than what it's actually capable of providing. As Woody Allen said "yex, it's a shallow experience, but as shallow experiences go, it's one of the best".
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