I keep seeing complaints that there’s a “new progressive pressure to be polyamorous”—is this true? Have you been scolded for not being poly? I have not
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This might sometimes happen? But in my experience I've found that sometimes monog people process "poly people openly taking about not controlling their partner" as implicit shame or pressure on them for controlling their partners.
It's a bit like the '70's: living in a commune and if you didn't want to share your partner there was something wrong with you. That never worked out greatly though. Was also a time when children were sometimes sexualized or giving more emotional autonomy than was good for them.
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It may not come across as a judgement-free framing to talk about a monogamous person “controlling their partner”
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what if it turned out that sex, shame, and jealousy are inextricably wound together in a tangled braid of neurons, incapable of not stimulating one another? that shit would be crazy!
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Idk, i suppose it depends on the context, but tbh without knowing what context you are referring to labelling a mutual DECISION to be monogamous as controlling is stupid and wrong, its no more controlling than agreeing to be polyamorous. So you saying this is kinda shaming them
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Pretty much came here to say this, the girlies out here with their weaponised fragility will come for you even if you've never mentioned your relationship status in front of them. Probably some of the reverse happens as well maybe but ime less egregiously
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The fact that you call monogamy "controlling a partner" is implicit shaming. I'm in a relationship where neither of us has the mental, emotional or physical labour for another, but we care for each other. Monogamy is not a controlling relationship.
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My partner and I are very proud of our ' controlling ' eachother.
The projection here is strong.
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