Conversation

Aella
@Aella_Girl
I don't mind when men hit on me at social events, mostly because I prefer knowing people being upfront about their motivations and desires. Demonstrating interest is fine and not inherently creepy! The one big condition here is that they not treat me worse if I reject them.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
I also really dislike when men subtly act like they're *not* hitting on me when they are, like redirect away from it when I gently inquire. This feels cowardly to me. I'd a billion times rather a man go "do you want to fuck right now" than a weird timid pulling on my attention.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
But in general, I know expressing romantic interest is really hard for men, and they often bear the burden of sole initiator, and I feel a lot of respect for guys who can do it clearly, without shame, and who can take a 'no.' I want to encourage more of this in life!
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Also just to state explicitly: age gaps between adults are not inherently creepy, relationships after a power dynamic (e.g., dating a former student) is not inherently creepy, unattractive men are not inherently creepy. All these things *can* be creepy, but are not by default!
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Yoz
@Yozarian22
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
There was just one thing in the original description that I did find creepy: subtly touching another person's arm while speaking with them. How do you feel if someone tries this one you? I'll admit I've used this move before, but only once I thought I was getting green lights.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Replying to
@Yozarian22
It depends a lot, I agree that was the worst thing listed and is pretty borderline. I find older men tend to do this more, and view it kind of as a harmless cultural thing, but there are strong cultural memes about not touching ppl that it does kinda signal defeciton
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