Conversation

Aella
@Aella_Girl
I don't mind when men hit on me at social events, mostly because I prefer knowing people being upfront about their motivations and desires. Demonstrating interest is fine and not inherently creepy! The one big condition here is that they not treat me worse if I reject them.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
I also really dislike when men subtly act like they're *not* hitting on me when they are, like redirect away from it when I gently inquire. This feels cowardly to me. I'd a billion times rather a man go "do you want to fuck right now" than a weird timid pulling on my attention.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
But in general, I know expressing romantic interest is really hard for men, and they often bear the burden of sole initiator, and I feel a lot of respect for guys who can do it clearly, without shame, and who can take a 'no.' I want to encourage more of this in life!
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Also just to state explicitly: age gaps between adults are not inherently creepy, relationships after a power dynamic (e.g., dating a former student) is not inherently creepy, unattractive men are not inherently creepy. All these things *can* be creepy, but are not by default!
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Jeffrey McJefferson
@JeffreyMCurtiss
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
Yes, and also, women have the ability to show interest without approaching. Men can respond to those indicators by approaching. My belief is that you should rarely approach without first getting some kind of signal that it’s welcome.
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Carlox
@_CARLOX_
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
I take the no super well. In fact, I know it's the default answer so I just save myself all the trouble and skip to the part where I don't try and move on.