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I don't mind when men hit on me at social events, mostly because I prefer knowing people being upfront about their motivations and desires. Demonstrating interest is fine and not inherently creepy! The one big condition here is that they not treat me worse if I reject them.

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Aella

@Aella_Girl

Aug 12, 2022

I also really dislike when men subtly act like they're *not* hitting on me when they are, like redirect away from it when I gently inquire. This feels cowardly to me. I'd a billion times rather a man go "do you want to fuck right now" than a weird timid pulling on my attention.

194

Aella

@Aella_Girl

But in general, I know expressing romantic interest is really hard for men, and they often bear the burden of sole initiator, and I feel a lot of respect for guys who can do it clearly, without shame, and who can take a 'no.' I want to encourage more of this in life!

11:24 PM · Aug 12, 2022

Replying to

Also just to state explicitly: age gaps between adults are not inherently creepy, relationships after a power dynamic (e.g., dating a former student) is not inherently creepy, unattractive men are not inherently creepy. All these things *can* be creepy, but are not by default!

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Aella

@Aella_Girl

Aug 12, 2022

Sure , it doesn't feel good to have to reject a man who's hitting on you no matter how well he takes the no, but women rarely initiate so what the hell are they supposed to do? Just cause setting boundaries is uncomfortable doesn't mean it's not your responsibility to do it!

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This is actually helpful for younger guys

Replying to

I'll add this.. although not exactly on point, when a girl selling says I could never date a "follower" who is trying to improve the self esteem of said girl and appears to her as a creep for doing so.. fine line on what he says to her.. is why she loses followers. Connections!