I don't mind when men hit on me at social events, mostly because I prefer knowing people being upfront about their motivations and desires. Demonstrating interest is fine and not inherently creepy! The one big condition here is that they not treat me worse if I reject them.
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I also really dislike when men subtly act like they're *not* hitting on me when they are, like redirect away from it when I gently inquire. This feels cowardly to me. I'd a billion times rather a man go "do you want to fuck right now" than a weird timid pulling on my attention.
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But in general, I know expressing romantic interest is really hard for men, and they often bear the burden of sole initiator, and I feel a lot of respect for guys who can do it clearly, without shame, and who can take a 'no.' I want to encourage more of this in life!
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Also just to state explicitly: age gaps between adults are not inherently creepy, relationships after a power dynamic (e.g., dating a former student) is not inherently creepy, unattractive men are not inherently creepy. All these things *can* be creepy, but are not by default!
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Sure , it doesn't feel good to have to reject a man who's hitting on you no matter how well he takes the no, but women rarely initiate so what the hell are they supposed to do? Just cause setting boundaries is uncomfortable doesn't mean it's not your responsibility to do it!
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Depends! I've had some friends treat me better *because* they were romantically interested in me, and after rejecting they went back to baseline, which was less super-friendly-welcoming. I think this is fine, cause it was *baseline*. I don't want dropping below baseline.
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want to do a set of polls on what kinds of events people want to hit on or be hit on. if not i’ll do it in a couple of days
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Things would be much better if people were more straightforward and direct with their intentions. Especially in contexts like the workplace, this would reduce the chances of bad things happening, like sexual harrassment allegations.
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