mom (who has intense chronic pain) "I was thinking about trying weed for pain relief"
dad: "No, you can't do that"
sister: "mom's her own person, she can do what she wants"
dad: *explodes, starts screaming at everyone*
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youd think this was exaggerated, wouldnt you, like this is too ridiculous and unreasonable and must be a caricature, no actual person is like this. you'd think!
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(tbf this is reported secondhand through my sister, but it is 0% surprising, even if the details aren't totally right have personally witnessed many situations very similar to that)
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I'm really surprised that most of the comments seem to be focusing on the weed part. The weed part wasn't the issue, it was his authority being challenged, the "she's her own person" comment. I'm *super* confused that this wasn't obvious!
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Please send my props to your sister for standing up for your mom that way. This isn't easy in a family situation if you're used to someone being a bully. (People tend to fall into protective roles they adopted in childhood &stay in them.)
PS I think a lot of your sis in general!
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By the way, if I were mediating this -- which you do at a time apart from the heated moment (amygdala, blah, blah blah) -- I'd get him to talk about his feelings/fears about drugs & what he worries would happen here. Might be part "I must rule" - and even large part - but...
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Idk, my guy and I live together with our kid, so there is nothing independent about one of us deciding to start self medicating (especially since weed is still illegal here). I'd be pissed if one of my adult kids was butting into our business as a couple like that.
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Most people haven't had the experience with obsessive authority dads that you've had. It's obvious to you because you're you. More people have seen weed confronted with explosive screaming from ignorant people.
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It's because being anti drugs is more in line with most people's personal experiences than being anti women having autonomy, very few people grew up in a home where "she's her own person" would be remotely controversial
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I see how your dad getting pissed off about his authority being challenged is a problem but I hope your mom gets effective treatment for her pain whether it's weed or not.
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I'm guessing it's because most people have not experienced the depths of patriarchy that you have, but they have witnessed DARE and other strong anti-drug propaganda.
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could be the parenthesis about chronic pain and beginning with weed talk that primed minds to think about weed and not dad's attitude, the latter which the reader knows nothing about (we don't know your family, but many older people hate weed).
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If the weed part wasn't the issue, does he randomly deny stuff, or is there some pattern, except arbitrary exercise of authority for the sake of authority?