i just think i have some religion ptsd from devoutly, 100% buying into a ton of insaneo things and feeling the related moral disgust, and then finding out it was *all* false. "ask yourself the horrifying questions" ended up being my important, near-obsessive takeaway from this
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yall make fun of me now for asking questions about the morality of a man banging a dead dog or whatever but the weird horror of that is *exactly* the way i used to feel about gay ppl and ppl made fun of me for asking questions about that too. theres no limits now, im paranoid
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i can empathise, except mine is “be open to wrongness and expose my important truths to examination”
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the next stage of that for me has been to consider that not ~everything~ about religion was wrong or entirely bad. still an atheist, but kind of a thrilling/horrifying/fascinating road.
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Did you ever read Nietszsche? He philosophized about the arbitrariness of morality, and how power is its real source.
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Having to build a whole new worldview from the ground up is rough. At 20 I too realized that everything fed to me up to that point was just made up.
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Can you list a few horrifying questions, so I can understand?
Thought stopping is a thing, and if I understand you right you pushed your way through it.
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Have you considered that it wasn’t all false?
And that, perhaps, you have strayed so far from the path and for so long that you no longer recognize it for what it is?
Perhaps they were right all along, but your curiosity got the best of you. It did for me.
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