One really weird thing about a meditative/contemplative path is, after a certain point, if you don't fry your brain, your mind just starts... taking you somewhere
You feel guided by an intelligence beyond you
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I talked to an experienced meditation teacher yesterday, and, independent of me bringing this up, he said, "it sounds like you've unblocked it, and you could try really hard to block it up, but you probably can't stop the process now, it'll come through you"
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this sounds true to me. i also once had an experienced meditation teacher tell me that i could "put it all up on the shelf and go become a housewife or whatever, and you can come back and take it down later if you feel like it" which is an interesting message to hold in parallel