Just swiped 200 times on tinder; 22% of matches presented to me had super-liked me
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It's an asymmetric market. Guys are looking for ways to stand out.
When my girlfriend and I met online, she had a queue of >700 likes (she paid for stats). It's hard for guys to stand out.
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i wanna say it's really not hard for guys to stand out, the bar is *super* low, except apparently based on evidence it must be hard for them to stand out or else they'd be doing it
The ones that did stand out to you, what were they doing particularly right?
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Perhaps not. At the same time, empirically it's a numbers game. Women just get far more likes / pings / messages (on average) than men. For whatever reason, that's the situation.
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Honestly when women say stuff like "the bar for men is low" it's kind of triggering. Obviously it isn't low, and as a man you start to become keenly aware that "the bar" is set at 95%ile height, income, education etc. Feels like a shorthand way to say "men suck"
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For research, could borrow any male friend's Tinder & swipe with it (after editing profile, optimizing pics) & see if she can "make it stand out"
But yeah, reality is, men swipe right >3x more than women, per Tinder stats, and swipes are also more evenly distributed
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So you’re saying there are things we could be doing other than just being hotter/richer?
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In person I agree that "standing out" can be more intuitive for guys.
But via Tinder or other apps I don't think guys know how to differentiate or get past the first pass filter for women when 1 photo is the only medium.
Photos destroy a lot of context that differentiates guys
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I have a picture of me and fish and a shirtless selfie in a dirty bathroom mirror, what more do you what
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This isn't the case at all. I have a much better results with women in person over meeting them on-line. It's very difficult for men to display attractive/valuable qualities online as opposed to in person. For women, if they look relatively good in a pic, they're in.
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