if a dude avoids me to appease his monog girlfriend, i kinda wanna tell her she really doesn't have to worry, i'm sexually unattracted to guys with boundaries weak enough that they're willing to sacrifice normal human interaction for their gfs anyway
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(for my dude friends this applies to, ur cool, i understand it's easy to lose boundaries in relationships, i think most men could end up in this situation, most of my bitterness is at the gfs for completely miscalculating the kind of thing i'm attracted to in men)
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(like someone being like "oh no aella might rob my body lotion shop, quick put the padlocks on the doors and hire security" and im like "bitch i dont even use body lotion, it feels like you're drastically miscalculating risk here")
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It seems strange to have fear or preventive/anxious (not even reactive) jealousy be the glue binding a relationship together, or to surrender your autonomy. Possessiveness is not romantic.
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how do you know if a dude is avoiding you to appease his gf vs just regular avoiding you?
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I'm not sure if they're actually concerned with your attraction to their boyfriends. It's probably more about their attraction to you and what kind of sexual reward they can get by the follow
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I went through a relationship where my ex made scenes because of things like that and, in retrospective, if you can break a relationship like that by seducing the guy or whatever, please do it. You'll be doing a good deed.
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I have multiple friendships with men that are explicitly or implicitly limited by their partners. In one of them, the limitation is fine - we're only allowed to hike together (ok 'cause we hike often).
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