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One trait that I find really sexy in a man is a real specific flavor of 'doesn't give a shit what others think' - not in an antisocial way, but like, clear principles and bravery/risk taking, and some level of power/independence that lets them have the independence to survive.

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I think this is pretty baked in. The most pro-social and independent people I know were that way at 4yo too and don’t really know what it would feel like to be super worried but people think of you bc they’ve never felt it

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(fwiw, I think of myself as pretty independent and socially deviant, but I was NOT like this as a young child)

Tyr - in fear we trust

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Werent you internally socially deviant but limited by family reasons though? That seems different

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Not as a young child! Like, pre-puberty, my mom has notes in her diary about how I was unusually sensitive to social criticism and was extremely careful/nervous/embarrassed. One time I had a breakdown when I was supposed to hit a pinata because other people were looking at me.

9:16 PM · Jul 4, 2022

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i remember being extremely thirsty at sunday school and refusing water when my teacher was pouring water for people because i didn't want to make her do any extra labor and thus maybe think slightly more poorly of me

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