Conversation

Something i was very confused about & feel clear on now: How is it not controlling to prefer that your partner isn’t sexual with other people? My answer: we’re allowed a preference & its not controlling to say “this is how i want to live; if youre into it lets do it together”

280

☾ rosalind ☼

@wholebodyprayer

Jun 10, 2022

“… and if not, im very sad but it wont work between us.” I was always too low self-esteem to realise i was allowed to have preferences in relationship & hard boundaries, and these are not controlling because a person can choose to opt in to them & me, or not. And if not, fine.

166

☾ rosalind ☼

@wholebodyprayer

Jun 10, 2022

The other person may EXPERIENCE this as controlling if they really want to be together or are codependently bonded, but that doesnt mean it is. Theyre free to go. I guess we have to be careful such things are about how we ourselves want to live & not about the other, not petty.

114

Aella

@Aella_Girl

Replying to

@wholebodyprayer

I'm imagining this same line of reasoning applied to a guy who doesn't want his girlfriend to have any other friends

3:39 PM · Jun 11, 2022

Replying to

and

Or leave the house without asking. Or buy things they like. Or use a toothbrush. Or live a life of any sort. Monogamy is fair, but there's very specific forms of control over each other that we deem socially acceptable.