Conversation

Lots of people dragging on me for deciding to jump into a big python project instead of learning slow basics from a book or school or something. Sure, maybe that works better for you, but if I take that option I will *never learn python* 1/
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A big chunk of learning for me is knowing how to manage my own motivation, and there are lots of ways to learn that are in fact more practical, but would destroy my motivation. I have learned not to lie to myself about what I can force myself to do. 2/
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For me, I *need* to learn in direct relation to a goal I care about. This means when I get confused or stuck or bored, I remember the end goal I want, and it gives me the juice to power through. Wanting to "complete a course" does not give me juice.
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With my current system I can feel the desire to learn possessing me like a spirit. I'm making slow progress but each thing I've learned lands hard inside my body like a brand or a scar, because it's clearly and directly connected to what I care about. The entire process is alive.
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And more importantly, it's fun! I am having FUN learning! When I tried the tutorials there was no fun to be seen. I love the philosophy that every part of your experience should be vibrant, that means are not just for their ends, but are joyful in and of themselves.
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It isn't stupid at all. And of course it's hard: most things worth doing are worth doing because they're hard. Learning to program is hard, no matter what people say, and learning to program WELL is even harder.