one of the experiences that fed into my enthusiasm for feeling my feelings etc. was being extremely confused about the energy economics of feeling depressed / "low on spoons"
like i could not believe that the raw biological energy was unavailable, given that i had plentiful food
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so it seemed to me that the only way i could possibly ever feel "low energy" despite having as much raw biological energy as i could ask for is that there were regulatory mechanisms actively preventing me from using the energy i had
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and i eventually found such a mechanism, namely, the freeze response, which was more than satisfactory as an explanation of my own low-energy states for a long time
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but recent experiments with my diet like cutting out seed oils and fasting a bit, plus reading 's website, suggests a quite different possible cause of "low energy": the body could be struggling to digest food effectively
bodyepiphanies.com/bioenergetic-n
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if much of your energy is taken up with the struggle to digest and meanwhile you're getting less energy from your food than a hypothetical person with perfect gut health, that combination might be enough to sap your energy by itself? (trying to first-principles this)
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i am still struck by how calm i felt 40 hours or so into my last fast. i finally felt like i was in a state where sitting meditation made perfect sense, where i would've been happy to sit in stillness for hours. all from... reducing gut inflammation???
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thanks for the input everyone, i got a lot of gut health stuff to learn about. i decided to fast yesterday on a whim to see how much it would help and boy howdy did it. i feel calm and patient, my gut feels quiet and no longer looks like i'm pregnant, my breathing is easier twitter.com/QiaochuYuan/st…
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normally i always feel like i am vibrating a little bit and not in a pleasant way and 40 hours after i stopped giving my digestive system new work to do i just... didn't??? fucking insane
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ya i feel like a lot of my circles approach mental/emotional issues as a sky problem more than is justified; i suspect so much of ppl's trauma about their parents or aversion or anxiety is just something something gut microbiome
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maybe that deep psychological sense you are fundamentally unloveable is just lactose intolerance