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I once had a male friend grab me at a party and start kissing me, no warning. I was like uhh no ty. he explained that he'd heard me talk about wanting guys to take bold initiative and decided to try it. It wasn't super comfortable for me, but I found it sweet of him to try.
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I'd rather have to do some awkward turndowns of aggro dudes in order to get some aggro moves I want. Ofc my ideal world includes aggro dudes being able to read me well to tell if I actually want them, but the world is not ideal and plausible deniability is an arms race.
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Also a lot of this hinges on how well the dude can take rejection. My friend in question reacted very well and is still my friend today; the attempt didn't damage anything. I would NOT want aggro dudes to try things if my rejection would fuck up our friendship.
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I'd love more experimental social frames that give ppl more room to explore here. I'd love a party where aggro sexual moves are considered default okay, and you consent to having aggro moves made at you by entering, for example.
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I'd also like more explicit individual norms, or something? Like I wish ppl could turn visible setting preferences to "I want more aggro, my soul is a single callous" or "do not be even a lil aggro at me or i will ptsd at you"
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😳🤯 that seems like quite a risky thing to potentially encourage/put out there unless you have a heck of a lot of trust in the all your various friends or acquaintances for whom it might apply to be able to correctly judge boundaries, unclear signals etc..
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