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Conversation

I once had a male friend grab me at a party and start kissing me, no warning. I was like uhh no ty. he explained that he'd heard me talk about wanting guys to take bold initiative and decided to try it. It wasn't super comfortable for me, but I found it sweet of him to try.

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I'd rather have to do some awkward turndowns of aggro dudes in order to get some aggro moves I want. Ofc my ideal world includes aggro dudes being able to read me well to tell if I actually want them, but the world is not ideal and plausible deniability is an arms race.

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Also a lot of this hinges on how well the dude can take rejection. My friend in question reacted very well and is still my friend today; the attempt didn't damage anything. I would NOT want aggro dudes to try things if my rejection would fuck up our friendship.

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I'd love more experimental social frames that give ppl more room to explore here. I'd love a party where aggro sexual moves are considered default okay, and you consent to having aggro moves made at you by entering, for example.

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I'd also like more explicit individual norms, or something? Like I wish ppl could turn visible setting preferences to "I want more aggro, my soul is a single callous" or "do not be even a lil aggro at me or i will ptsd at you"

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I can think of a few male friends where if they just pulled me into a closet and started aggro banging me I'd be like well ok I guess. these are ppl I'd probably turn down for dates and (to most) have made absolutely zero indication of interest to.

12:35 AM · Apr 29, 2022

@ThatsMauvelous

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you seem like the kind of person who would think through the implications and likely effects of a tweet like this before letting it fly

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@ThatsMauvelous

I in fact am

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Show replies

StarlitAtrocity

@StarlitAtrocity

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I don’t blame you for liking what you like but just know that navigating this landscape as a guy is an absolute minefield.

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@StarlitAtrocity

I am well aware

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I see closet sex in your near future .... hope its hot and not awkward and weird lol

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That's a bit weird

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are you okay?

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Does "well ok I guess" fall under the category that bad sex is better than no sex? That type of thing? I prefer to avoid "well ok I guess" situations myself.

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dialectical material gworl

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Im such a do not even be a little aggro at me or I'll ptsd at you, unless I consent to it, in that case my soul is a single callous

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😳🤯 that seems like quite a risky thing to potentially encourage/put out there unless you have a heck of a lot of trust in the all your various friends or acquaintances for whom it might apply to be able to correctly judge boundaries, unclear signals etc..

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