Conversation

Aella
@Aella_Girl
When I was very young I had basic physical traits and cultural similarity as criteria for a mate (dark hair, christian); a little older and it became more about shared hobbies/nerd identity; after that it became more about life trajectory (thrill/boldness). lately for me tho,
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
my criteria for hubbyhunting is somethin like: 1. very deep self acceptance 2. brave enough to hurt me 3. has one foot in the infinite pain 4. really smart 5. polyamorous 6. into the same freaky sex i'm into 7. similar social power 8. eldritch
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
im suspicious of my current criteria because my last sets of criteria have kept changing with age, but right now every point feels important. I *don't* fully understand all of what it is I want, and there's definitely other ways incompatibilities can arise that aren't on the list
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
But if i'm evaluating someone for romantic compatibility, i often feel... some boredom? I feel like i'm looking for some kernel of annihilation in them, some little voice in the background screaming in ecstasy that it's ready to die. i want a heavy metal soul.
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Special Snowflake
@zedverism211
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
Being in love feels like you are a low dose of molly all the time. A good lover is infinitely fascinating as they have a constant supply of interesting topics to discuss. Their emotional stability allows for you to let yourself go in ways you did not feel possible before.
Sam Lowen
@samlowen5105
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
I rarely see you discuss romance. You’ve acknowledged that sexual intimacy is challenging for you. It makes sense to me that romance bores you. Your lists of what you want read like you’re grocery shopping. What we focus on expands.
Whatever
@Whateverdude77
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
Falling in love tints almost all of the desired traits. For those desired traits that remain pure, they become the deal-breakers. Stay clear on your deal-breakers and you will have the greatest chance of success.